Its a beautiful bright and clear starry night tonight. Somehow starry nights always bring back memories. Some memories I had in Thailand, some in Cameron Highlands during Bible Camp, and the many times I just laid on my back looking at the night sky.
It's marvellous really, when the clouds clear up like they do tonight. Everyone should just stop to look, even for a glance.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Mr. No Musical Talent
I had a thought this morning as I was brushing my teeth in the toilet at Hostel. It all began when I was pondering over what songs to lead for this Sunday's worship. In my life, I haven't really got many regrets but up to a few years ago, I concluded that I had 2 major regrets in my life:
I do somewhat envy those who can though. Don't neglect your piano lessons and despise your grade exams!! I wished I had the time and chance when I was young. Perhaps some time soon, I can purpose some spare time to a proper learn class. But til then, I'll just have to try my best in what I have now, to lead worship with a voice and nothing more. Or would anyone be kind enough to teach me?
- I hadn't had the diligence to stay in a single CCA throughout my 4 years in Sec school
- I hadn't learn to play any music instruments when I was young
I do somewhat envy those who can though. Don't neglect your piano lessons and despise your grade exams!! I wished I had the time and chance when I was young. Perhaps some time soon, I can purpose some spare time to a proper learn class. But til then, I'll just have to try my best in what I have now, to lead worship with a voice and nothing more. Or would anyone be kind enough to teach me?
Sunday, February 25, 2007
And many little things
Another chinese new year passes, too fast almost. I'm almost ready to join Singapore's aging population. Silver hairs appearing on top of my head too. Well ok, no count cos I've starting having them since secondary school. But the reality is time really passes very fast. The past week especially, went by like a short breath.
I thought the message today was pretty thought provoking. It's of course not the first time a message challenging our priorities was preached, but I guess it gave me an opportunity to put myself on the surgeon's table again and closely examine my priorities. In all honesty, my priorities since the start of the year seemed to be to graduate with a good honours and get a good job thereafter, finding security in life. A lot of subtle streams of thoughts converged to this delta, little priorities I should start to consider at this age. Things like monetary stability, being financially independent enough to be able to start a relationship which may lead to a lifelong one, repaying my parents, having the finance to also further my studies and even my interests. And lots of tiny tiny ideals that this little ambitious duckling wants to have as he starts to learn how to fly.
I guess God really has a certain way to take us back on track sometimes. For one, I'm certainly not sure if I can graduate this June. My grades have been pretty alright up til now and I should think the final exams in April ought to be ok. It's just my Final Year Project that hasn't been going on well at all. People around me are finishing their projects and ready to touch on their final reports due on 19 March, whereas I can't even get my project WORKING. I've no results to show for and it's somewhat depressing and stressful at the same time. I need to pass this project to graduate and it would be a terrible shame if I have done well in exams up til now only to fail this final project in my final semester. I really don't know how to do this. Can complain all I want but it's not going to help. My heavenward pleas also don't seem to be going through. Almost like "what's going on?" sometimes. *breathe*
That aside, weekends are still busy times for me. Easter is a big project which I, at the moment, don't really know if I can commit to. I would love to be a part of this, yet realistically speaking I don't wish to return after each practice coming back to an uphill task of trying to meet my project deadlines or piles of revision for my exams in April. In the movie "Click", Adam Sandler had a universal remote that was literally "universal". Sometimes don't we all wish we could just forward time and space so we could "move on" to bigger, brighter times? Yet, ironically it's through trying, darker times that makes us who we are more than those happy moments. So coming back to having God be my number 1 priority, I shall firmly believe that no matter how my graduation turns out, it's all good - having tried my best and committing my efforts to my loving God.
It's no wonder then that the bible states in James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
On the bus ride back home today, the Holy Spirit just brought this verses to mind and He suddenly emphasized on the words "the testing of your faith". It never occurred to me it was the "testing" of our faith that develops perseverance, and not "having faith develops perseverance". So each time our faith is tested, rejoice as it's God at work in us. Well, God is interested IN US. And the mighty thing is, we WILL become mature through this testing process as we persevere, and then not lack anything. We get more mature, older budweiser* :)
Here's a question that popped up in my mind during sermon today for those interested. The bible says God honours those who honours Him, and those who despise Him He will disdain. If we ought all to be like God. Do we treat people the same way? Aren't we called to love all instead? Food for thought. Do leave ur comments below cos I'm figuring this out too. Comments are preferred over tagboard, as tagboard messages are limited in characters. Ciaoz!!
* pun alert
I thought the message today was pretty thought provoking. It's of course not the first time a message challenging our priorities was preached, but I guess it gave me an opportunity to put myself on the surgeon's table again and closely examine my priorities. In all honesty, my priorities since the start of the year seemed to be to graduate with a good honours and get a good job thereafter, finding security in life. A lot of subtle streams of thoughts converged to this delta, little priorities I should start to consider at this age. Things like monetary stability, being financially independent enough to be able to start a relationship which may lead to a lifelong one, repaying my parents, having the finance to also further my studies and even my interests. And lots of tiny tiny ideals that this little ambitious duckling wants to have as he starts to learn how to fly.
I guess God really has a certain way to take us back on track sometimes. For one, I'm certainly not sure if I can graduate this June. My grades have been pretty alright up til now and I should think the final exams in April ought to be ok. It's just my Final Year Project that hasn't been going on well at all. People around me are finishing their projects and ready to touch on their final reports due on 19 March, whereas I can't even get my project WORKING. I've no results to show for and it's somewhat depressing and stressful at the same time. I need to pass this project to graduate and it would be a terrible shame if I have done well in exams up til now only to fail this final project in my final semester. I really don't know how to do this. Can complain all I want but it's not going to help. My heavenward pleas also don't seem to be going through. Almost like "what's going on?" sometimes. *breathe*
That aside, weekends are still busy times for me. Easter is a big project which I, at the moment, don't really know if I can commit to. I would love to be a part of this, yet realistically speaking I don't wish to return after each practice coming back to an uphill task of trying to meet my project deadlines or piles of revision for my exams in April. In the movie "Click", Adam Sandler had a universal remote that was literally "universal". Sometimes don't we all wish we could just forward time and space so we could "move on" to bigger, brighter times? Yet, ironically it's through trying, darker times that makes us who we are more than those happy moments. So coming back to having God be my number 1 priority, I shall firmly believe that no matter how my graduation turns out, it's all good - having tried my best and committing my efforts to my loving God.
It's no wonder then that the bible states in James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
On the bus ride back home today, the Holy Spirit just brought this verses to mind and He suddenly emphasized on the words "the testing of your faith". It never occurred to me it was the "testing" of our faith that develops perseverance, and not "having faith develops perseverance". So each time our faith is tested, rejoice as it's God at work in us. Well, God is interested IN US. And the mighty thing is, we WILL become mature through this testing process as we persevere, and then not lack anything. We get more mature, older budweiser* :)
Here's a question that popped up in my mind during sermon today for those interested. The bible says God honours those who honours Him, and those who despise Him He will disdain. If we ought all to be like God. Do we treat people the same way? Aren't we called to love all instead? Food for thought. Do leave ur comments below cos I'm figuring this out too. Comments are preferred over tagboard, as tagboard messages are limited in characters. Ciaoz!!
* pun alert
Monday, February 12, 2007
Happy Blog Anniversary
Within the blink of an eye, 2 quick years have past and it's my blog's 3rd year in running! Pardon the cheesy intro, sounds like something off a model essay compilation. Looking back at how I started this blog and why I did, I really want to have a good laugh at myself. I said I had wanted this blog to be like a photoblog where I would showcase my photos and experiences; well, I lied. Haha.
Anyway, in the good spirit of bloglihood Here's a toast to a good year of experiences and blogging them down in retrospect! *TOAST* That inadvertently means a toast to the author's year too. So thanks y'all :)
Somehow I look fat in this pic.
Caught some sleepers in action during lecture today :P
Anyway, in the good spirit of bloglihood Here's a toast to a good year of experiences and blogging them down in retrospect! *TOAST* That inadvertently means a toast to the author's year too. So thanks y'all :)
Somehow I look fat in this pic.Caught some sleepers in action during lecture today :P
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Happy Valentines (Day - 3)!!
It's 3 days from Valentines' Day! Weeee!! But what does it mean for me? Probably nothing much. Haha.
Valentines' Day had always been one of those days on the calendar I'm pretty much apprehensive about. Having been single for every V-day always made me think a lot about the future and the many times of "oh, how i wished..". Years have gone by and a lot of me has changed. Matured maybe? Time grows a person where a trial grooms. Everything thick and thin we are put through makes us stronger. To be honest, that's always what I had believed all this life - what does not kill me makes me stronger. And I do think that to a large extent that's very true. That's really the grace of God in action. He tips our jars so we mature and become a better person, Christlikeness.
No plans as usual this Valentines. I won't be brooding like past years for sure. Things have changed, I have changed. Somehow the subtle turning of the wheel of time has aligned my priorities to a different direction. For a large part of my life up til now, I had always wanted to have that special someone "to hold and to cherish" but that never really came about. I had always imagined Valentines Day to be the epitome of romance for me, but never quite the case. We just had a Secell V-day special this afternoon and it was.. different. I remember lying down on my bed last night and thinking,"You know God, I may just be the most inappropriate person to teach this." With a muffled chuckle, I soon realized my priorities have changed and I no longer feel that deep innate longing to have that someone special. "But You know Lord, having realized this now.. I don't really mind if You were to drop a surprise on me somehow," I soon qualified.
It's all good anyway. Everytime we do fall in relationships or pre-relationships, we get to know ourselves better. And that's really a blessing if we can all view this lifelong journey as one of self-exploration and betterment. In recent months, I've come to realize that I've still got a long long way to go in terms of maturity. And it shows in many ways like my behaviour and speech. Sometimes there can be a stark lack of maturity in the way I present myself, hence it can be hard to take my words seriously sometimes. It's not the numbers ticking down my timeline called "age" that counts, it's simply my level of maturity. I'm not there yet. I've got a long way to go. And maybe, just maybe, I need more jar tippers. :)
Happy Valentines Day y'all sweeties. And may all sweethearts having a most loving one!
Signing off,
Valentines' Day had always been one of those days on the calendar I'm pretty much apprehensive about. Having been single for every V-day always made me think a lot about the future and the many times of "oh, how i wished..". Years have gone by and a lot of me has changed. Matured maybe? Time grows a person where a trial grooms. Everything thick and thin we are put through makes us stronger. To be honest, that's always what I had believed all this life - what does not kill me makes me stronger. And I do think that to a large extent that's very true. That's really the grace of God in action. He tips our jars so we mature and become a better person, Christlikeness.
No plans as usual this Valentines. I won't be brooding like past years for sure. Things have changed, I have changed. Somehow the subtle turning of the wheel of time has aligned my priorities to a different direction. For a large part of my life up til now, I had always wanted to have that special someone "to hold and to cherish" but that never really came about. I had always imagined Valentines Day to be the epitome of romance for me, but never quite the case. We just had a Secell V-day special this afternoon and it was.. different. I remember lying down on my bed last night and thinking,"You know God, I may just be the most inappropriate person to teach this." With a muffled chuckle, I soon realized my priorities have changed and I no longer feel that deep innate longing to have that someone special. "But You know Lord, having realized this now.. I don't really mind if You were to drop a surprise on me somehow," I soon qualified.
It's all good anyway. Everytime we do fall in relationships or pre-relationships, we get to know ourselves better. And that's really a blessing if we can all view this lifelong journey as one of self-exploration and betterment. In recent months, I've come to realize that I've still got a long long way to go in terms of maturity. And it shows in many ways like my behaviour and speech. Sometimes there can be a stark lack of maturity in the way I present myself, hence it can be hard to take my words seriously sometimes. It's not the numbers ticking down my timeline called "age" that counts, it's simply my level of maturity. I'm not there yet. I've got a long way to go. And maybe, just maybe, I need more jar tippers. :)
Happy Valentines Day y'all sweeties. And may all sweethearts having a most loving one!
Signing off,
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
An obligatory update
I aptly titled this entry "an obligatory update" cos I realized my personal blog has shifted focus, towards what I am doing in church, as opposed to rambling about my own life. So since I have just updated the Secell blog, I should update my own blog somewhat.
I think apart from my Final Year Project, the start of the year has had a lot of bright hopes pointing towards a great year. Seems like I started the new year with a new fervour for my studies. No fair reason why, I think it's probably cos I realized I had only 3 months of studies left so I might had as well try my best. Now I need to ignite that same fervour to spending time with God. In all honesty, I haven't even come close to trying my best where drawing close to God goes. 我 真 的 亏欠 神 了. But I'm going home now! Repentance is always the first step!
I was watching the Church Christmas DVD to help improve my stage presence and I must say that night was really quite challenging in terms of the programme. Everything went wrong!! Oh well, nonetheless it was fun albeit scary.
Oh well, my tutorials are done now. Probably time to end my obligatory entry. Hope I can put in another one soon. By the way, who still reads this blog ah? Haha. Maybe I can tune my "programme" to my viewers.
I think apart from my Final Year Project, the start of the year has had a lot of bright hopes pointing towards a great year. Seems like I started the new year with a new fervour for my studies. No fair reason why, I think it's probably cos I realized I had only 3 months of studies left so I might had as well try my best. Now I need to ignite that same fervour to spending time with God. In all honesty, I haven't even come close to trying my best where drawing close to God goes. 我 真 的 亏欠 神 了. But I'm going home now! Repentance is always the first step!
I was watching the Church Christmas DVD to help improve my stage presence and I must say that night was really quite challenging in terms of the programme. Everything went wrong!! Oh well, nonetheless it was fun albeit scary.
Oh well, my tutorials are done now. Probably time to end my obligatory entry. Hope I can put in another one soon. By the way, who still reads this blog ah? Haha. Maybe I can tune my "programme" to my viewers.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Shocking
I am going to tell you all something very shocking.
It's not easy being a youth leader, anyone in that position will tell you likewise. Some will justify the experience with the fact that they find youth leadership most fulfilling, others love the difference they are making in the lives of their members. There's no doubt about the joy of seeing lives changed and having a part to play in that transformation but what if the memory of having ever achieved such a noble aspiration has become so distant and long forgotten?
Honestly, I don't believe in no-return investments. Having put so much time and effort into numerous young peoples' lives, my hope is that they would aspire and grow to be like Christ. Even if one cannot attain that seemingly lofty goal in this lifetime, at least endeavour for it. Lend an ear to hear, the one who teaches is less greater than one with teachability. Or should leaders turn their teaching to pleas before one should embrace their words?
Change is fundamental to any growth. To realize growth, first embrace change.
There's a lot of taboo implicitly applied to youth leaders. A lot of rules and restrictions less mentioned beneath the breath of a whisper. Lest we abuse that trust bestowed upon us, some lines are better off not crossed. Nonetheless, the reality of humanity is beyond one's basic self control. Who by thoughts, words or actions can dictate the weaving threads of intertwined emotions? Not easy.
Nevertheless, it's not my battle to fight. I'm trying my best.
Shocking right?
It's not easy being a youth leader, anyone in that position will tell you likewise. Some will justify the experience with the fact that they find youth leadership most fulfilling, others love the difference they are making in the lives of their members. There's no doubt about the joy of seeing lives changed and having a part to play in that transformation but what if the memory of having ever achieved such a noble aspiration has become so distant and long forgotten?
Honestly, I don't believe in no-return investments. Having put so much time and effort into numerous young peoples' lives, my hope is that they would aspire and grow to be like Christ. Even if one cannot attain that seemingly lofty goal in this lifetime, at least endeavour for it. Lend an ear to hear, the one who teaches is less greater than one with teachability. Or should leaders turn their teaching to pleas before one should embrace their words?
Change is fundamental to any growth. To realize growth, first embrace change.
There's a lot of taboo implicitly applied to youth leaders. A lot of rules and restrictions less mentioned beneath the breath of a whisper. Lest we abuse that trust bestowed upon us, some lines are better off not crossed. Nonetheless, the reality of humanity is beyond one's basic self control. Who by thoughts, words or actions can dictate the weaving threads of intertwined emotions? Not easy.
Nevertheless, it's not my battle to fight. I'm trying my best.
Shocking right?
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