And many little things

Another chinese new year passes, too fast almost. I'm almost ready to join Singapore's aging population. Silver hairs appearing on top of my head too. Well ok, no count cos I've starting having them since secondary school. But the reality is time really passes very fast. The past week especially, went by like a short breath.

I thought the message today was pretty thought provoking. It's of course not the first time a message challenging our priorities was preached, but I guess it gave me an opportunity to put myself on the surgeon's table again and closely examine my priorities. In all honesty, my priorities since the start of the year seemed to be to graduate with a good honours and get a good job thereafter, finding security in life. A lot of subtle streams of thoughts converged to this delta, little priorities I should start to consider at this age. Things like monetary stability, being financially independent enough to be able to start a relationship which may lead to a lifelong one, repaying my parents, having the finance to also further my studies and even my interests. And lots of tiny tiny ideals that this little ambitious duckling wants to have as he starts to learn how to fly.

I guess God really has a certain way to take us back on track sometimes. For one, I'm certainly not sure if I can graduate this June. My grades have been pretty alright up til now and I should think the final exams in April ought to be ok. It's just my Final Year Project that hasn't been going on well at all. People around me are finishing their projects and ready to touch on their final reports due on 19 March, whereas I can't even get my project WORKING. I've no results to show for and it's somewhat depressing and stressful at the same time. I need to pass this project to graduate and it would be a terrible shame if I have done well in exams up til now only to fail this final project in my final semester. I really don't know how to do this. Can complain all I want but it's not going to help. My heavenward pleas also don't seem to be going through. Almost like "what's going on?" sometimes. *breathe*

That aside, weekends are still busy times for me. Easter is a big project which I, at the moment, don't really know if I can commit to. I would love to be a part of this, yet realistically speaking I don't wish to return after each practice coming back to an uphill task of trying to meet my project deadlines or piles of revision for my exams in April. In the movie "Click", Adam Sandler had a universal remote that was literally "universal". Sometimes don't we all wish we could just forward time and space so we could "move on" to bigger, brighter times? Yet, ironically it's through trying, darker times that makes us who we are more than those happy moments. So coming back to having God be my number 1 priority, I shall firmly believe that no matter how my graduation turns out, it's all good - having tried my best and committing my efforts to my loving God.

It's no wonder then that the bible states in James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

On the bus ride back home today, the Holy Spirit just brought this verses to mind and He suddenly emphasized on the words "the testing of your faith". It never occurred to me it was the "testing" of our faith that develops perseverance, and not "having faith develops perseverance". So each time our faith is tested, rejoice as it's God at work in us. Well, God is interested IN US. And the mighty thing is, we WILL become mature through this testing process as we persevere, and then not lack anything. We get more mature, older budweiser* :)

Here's a question that popped up in my mind during sermon today for those interested. The bible says God honours those who honours Him, and those who despise Him He will disdain. If we ought all to be like God. Do we treat people the same way? Aren't we called to love all instead? Food for thought. Do leave ur comments below cos I'm figuring this out too. Comments are preferred over tagboard, as tagboard messages are limited in characters. Ciaoz!!



* pun alert