Valentines' Day had always been one of those days on the calendar I'm pretty much apprehensive about. Having been single for every V-day always made me think a lot about the future and the many times of "oh, how i wished..". Years have gone by and a lot of me has changed. Matured maybe? Time grows a person where a trial grooms. Everything thick and thin we are put through makes us stronger. To be honest, that's always what I had believed all this life - what does not kill me makes me stronger. And I do think that to a large extent that's very true. That's really the grace of God in action. He tips our jars so we mature and become a better person, Christlikeness.
No plans as usual this Valentines. I won't be brooding like past years for sure. Things have changed, I have changed. Somehow the subtle turning of the wheel of time has aligned my priorities to a different direction. For a large part of my life up til now, I had always wanted to have that special someone "to hold and to cherish" but that never really came about. I had always imagined Valentines Day to be the epitome of romance for me, but never quite the case. We just had a Secell V-day special this afternoon and it was.. different. I remember lying down on my bed last night and thinking,"You know God, I may just be the most inappropriate person to teach this." With a muffled chuckle, I soon realized my priorities have changed and I no longer feel that deep innate longing to have that someone special. "But You know Lord, having realized this now.. I don't really mind if You were to drop a surprise on me somehow," I soon qualified.
It's all good anyway. Everytime we do fall in relationships or pre-relationships, we get to know ourselves better. And that's really a blessing if we can all view this lifelong journey as one of self-exploration and betterment. In recent months, I've come to realize that I've still got a long long way to go in terms of maturity. And it shows in many ways like my behaviour and speech. Sometimes there can be a stark lack of maturity in the way I present myself, hence it can be hard to take my words seriously sometimes. It's not the numbers ticking down my timeline called "age" that counts, it's simply my level of maturity. I'm not there yet. I've got a long way to go. And maybe, just maybe, I need more jar tippers. :)
Happy Valentines Day y'all sweeties. And may all sweethearts having a most loving one!
Signing off,
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