Showtime!

Hey kids, guess what time is it? Its time for Daniel's weekly rant! ! Yay.. *Applause*

(Opening theme song begins..)

Daniel the Clown: "Hello kids, it's been a long while since I last had fun with you all. Have you been good children?"
Kids (unanimous): "Noooooooooooooooooooo.."
Daniel: "That's alright, cos not like I really care anyway. Haha.."
(Blur look on kids' face)

Daniel: "Alright, before your parents decide to off the TV and my viewership drops, let's go on with the show!"
Kids (unanimous): "Nooooooooooooooooooo.."
Daniel: "Oh that's alright, not like I'll care anyway. Haha.."
(Parents off the TV)

Daniel: "For those lucky kids who're still watching, here's what happened today. I woke up this morning and got up to wash up. So, the usual, nothing new. But it was raining cats and dogs, and I mean CATS AND DOGS outside. Do you know what that means kids?"
(Awkward pause)

Daniel: "Oh not like I'll care anyway. Haha.. Okie, so it was raining cats and dogs. It was so cold, I had a shirt, jeans and a windbreaker on myself. But nooooo.. that was not enough, I still caught a cold somehow. My nose was dripping, sneezing and awfully unpleasing. Had no choice but to lie back down for awhile. Made me miss my lectures but had a good rest though. Dream I had a new house. Have u had a new house before kids..?"
(Interrupts himself)

Daniel: "Well, not like I care anyway. Haha.. Alright, so after lunch I was feeling playful and decided to have a teaspoon of 'Nimh Jiom Pi Pa Gao' for fun. Got a teaspoon of that thick, minty substance in my mouth, tilted my head back and that silly gooey lot went straight into my oesophagus(windpipe)!!?!?!? I choked like mad for a bout 10 minutes and coughed for the next hour or so while tearing. Certainly wasn't a pleasing feeling. Every cough I made, I could feel sweet substance at the back of my throat.. Eww.. Do you know how that feels like kids?"
(Kids shake head)

Daniel: "Of cos not, do you even care?! Haha.. Okie, I had my long overdue haircut tonight at Jurong Point at the barber's. Man, did that guy totally let me down tonight. I trusted him so much I didn't even look in the mirror after the cut, not til I showered and looked at myself in the mirror. My spikes are so looooooooooonnggggggggggggg.. No wonder he finished so fast. I might be needing clay instead of Gatsby in the next month. Bleh... OH!!! Do you know what time it is now kids?"
(Kids nod head)

Daniel: "Of cos you don't, but who cares?! We've just ran out of time tonight. It's time to say goodbye. See you soon you lovely kiddos.. Remember, no one loves you or your viewership more than Daniel the Clown!"

(Closing theme song begins)